have another joke and it is great i love it so i thought i would share another one with you. PLUS it will get my post up so I can get out of amateur status !!! ;D here you go:
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick.
My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my neighborhood!
Air bag's? Forget about it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it -almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter..... either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires
haha, the one about the rental car is funny. we once jumped a mini van going about 80 because the lady was goign to miss the offramp and didnt want to. lets just say that we caught some air and the mini van made some weird noises everytime we turned